10 Ways to Become Your (own) Best Friend

“You should treat yourself as well as you treat your best friend!”

The phrase ‘best friend’ is a familiar one to all of us, and if I were to ask you to define the term, it would not be difficult to do.
Most of us are fortunate enough to have had friends all of our lives, and some of us still have our friends from childhood as our best and most trusted allies.

Over the years you  have confided in your friends and they in you.
You have fought, made up, and grown closer as a result of your battles.

I need to ask you a couple of questions here: Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your best friend? Are you as happy in your company as you are in the presence of your most trusted confidante?
I believe you need to be as kind to yourself  as you   are to those close to you, and until you are able to to do so, you need to keep working on your friendship with you.

Here are 10 things that will help you to improve your relationship with yourself, and as a result, all of your other relationships will also improve:

1.Accept yourself: You must come to terms with who you are  and learn to like yourself as you are. You can not give others what you do not have.

It took me a while to get this one right. You see, for  the longest time while growing up , and even into my adult years, I was quite uncomfortable with my Oriental  features; I did not like my eyes, nor my high cheek bones that made my eyes appear even more slanted.
It took a lot of living, as well as support from my mom and other loved ones, to get me to the point where I was able to accept my uniqueness;

2. Love yourself: This is difficult to do if you have not accepted who you are, how you look;

3. Forgive yourself: Too often we are very hard on ourselves for something we did or failed to do in the past. Instead of being so unforgiving toward yourself, you should determine what if anything you can do now to set things right, and begin doing it as soon as possible;

4. Protect yourself: It is important to protect yourself  from the negative influences that are so prevalent in our society. Not only must you protect your physical self, you need to protect your emotional, mental, and psychological self as well, just to name a few;

5. Discipline yourself: This seems easy enough, but how often do you consciously think about the need to physically exercise or to exercise discipline in your  life?

6. Pamper  Yourself: Right after discipline? Yes, because they are the flip sides of each other. Let me explain: Discipline is needed to focus on and to achieve a desired goal. If  you act only when you want to , it will take  longer for you to achieve the goal, if it is achieved at all. But when the goal is reached as a result of the discipline you exercised, and the actions you took, a little ‘pampering’  is  acceptable as a reward for completing or achieving the goal.

7. Respect Yourself: You must respect or value yourself ; you should respect and uphold the things that make you who you are: your uniqueness, your value system, the talents and gifts you have been given;

8. Challenge yourself: Like the discipline  you must dole out to yourself when needed, you must also challenge yourself to continue growing, stretching. You should seek ways to promote your personal growth  so that you can always give more value in quantity and quality to those around you;

9. Encourage Yourself: This can come in any form that is needed at any given time. Of course we would like for others to encourage us, but we must be our biggest fan, our most energetic cheerleader;

10. Enjoy Yourself: Enjoying yourself, the things you love doing, even when no one else is around, will help you to become your truest and best friend.
As a result of habitually doing these things to affirm and to improve our lives, we will become better: better people, better friends to others, and equally important, best friends to ourselves.

Please leave a comment to  let me know your thoughts on this post.

Winning Through Disappointments

The way we  handle disappointments in striving toward our goals determines our failures, successes,  as well as the overall quality of  our life.

Each of us has  our share of disappointments as we strive to reach those coveted goals and dreams in life.
It does not matter how motivated or inspired we are about what we hope to accomplish: Disappointments happen, in our personal relationships, our careers,  and in life in general. The way we handle disappointments in striving toward our goals determines our failures, successes, as well as the overall quality of our lives.

As with any disappointment or setback, we must evaluate it closely to see what if anything we did or failed to do, that caused the problem.
Correcting the flaw as quickly as possible, without casting blame or pointing fingers, will minimize the damage as well as the time it will take for us to get back into the fight.
Yes, you will need some time to recover, to regroup, and lick  your wounds, but you must not delay action too long because you know just how damaging inaction or idleness can be to your success.

The next time you are faced with a disappointing situation, try the following action steps to help you get back on track:

1. Acknowledge your feelings, and don’t be too hard on yourself or others who may be involved. This must be done as soon as possible if the situation is going to improve;

2. Determine  what if any role you played in causing the problem;

3. Identify and execute the action(s) you can take now to set things right;

4. Ask help from those for whom there exist mutual support and respect. Doing so will shift most of the stress from you;

5. Find the lesson(s) the experience has to teach you, and use it to help you
in some area of your personal development.

Disappointments will happen; they are a part of life, but you do not have to let them derail your goals and dreams or determine the quality of your life.

Please leave a comment.

Warning! Comfort Zones Dangerous to Self-Growth/ Personal Development

Our goals and dreams will not be realized until we leave our comfort zones and pursue them (goals, dreams) with a tenacity that refuses to  yield!

Are you moving closer to your dreams daily because of  the action you take to make your dreams come true?

Have you left your comfort zone ( s ) far behind because you have a clear vision of your dream? Or, do you cling to those things that comfort like one clings to an old hat or a pair of  worn comfortable shoes?

To realize your dreams, you must be willing to step outside of your area of comfort again and again.
Yes, I know this is scary, but the truth of the matter is, we must grow in all areas of our lives to embrace our dreams. Those soft, cuddly places in our lives, with which we are so comfortable, do not allow us to grow; they keep us where we are: content and comfortable. These two boarders do not budge; they have to be ‘thrown’  out.

No doubt, you have heard this saying: In order to reach your goals, or realize your dreams, ‘you must become comfortable with being uncomfortable’. Our goals and dreams will not be realized until we leave our comfort zones and pursue them (goals,dreams) with a tenacity that refuses to yield!
The more growth, or risks of the right kind, the more discomfort of the right kind, the closer you get to realizing your dreams. This should motivate you to keep stretching and moving forward.

After a certain age, all of our personal growth is from the inside out.  This is exactly what is needed if we are to realize our loftiest dreams.

So, when are you stepping outside of  your comfort zone? Don’t continue holding on to it for dear life!
Release your tight grip so that you can move forward to realize your loftiest dreams and to embrace your true destiny.

I welcome, I read, and I respond to all comments.

Believe in You

To accomplish anything worthwhile in life, you must first believe that it can be done, and that you are the one to do it.

Too often we take ourselves out of the competition, no matter what it is, before we even enter it. I know this is what I did many times in the past, because I did not have confidence in myself  or in my abilities.
Lack of confidence can be caused by many things. For example, past failures (mainly because we gave up too soon) can weaken our confidence.
Family members and friends, who were not supportive, or not as supportive as we needed or wanted them to be, often time contribute  to our failure as well.

Underestimating the amount of time or work necessary to complete a task because we failed to do the needed research before diving into the project,  can also lead to failure.
The list of causes as to why we fail can go on indefinitely, but when we examine the many reasons failures occur, we will conclude, if we are honest with  ourselves,  that  the  main  reason  for our   failures  is due to our not  believing in ourselves  or in our abilities to get the job done.

Somehow, over the course of your life, you have stopped believing in yourself, and because this is so, the things attempted are abandoned at the first sign of resistance or trouble.
You  should remember that many times in life, those of us interested in self- help and personal development,  must go where our paths lead, even when you  have to travel alone, as many of life’s challenges require us to do, and to accomplish anything worthwhile  in life, you must first believe that it can be done, and that you are the one to do it.

Frequently, the only way to improve ourselves, our situations, is to do those things that require the most from us, but we can and we will succeed in doing all that is needed as we believe in ourselves and take the right decisive steps, and by knowing this: There is within each of us whatever we need to succeed  in life.
Let us begin with this fact!

THE Importance of Faith(Originally posted:May 31, 2009)

To achieve true success, I believe, you must have faith, faith in yourself, and your abilities, faith in others whom you will need to help you, and faith in someone bigger than yourself; I call that bigger entity God.

Faith is a very common word with which all are familiar, and if I were to ask you to define faith, I believe it could be done with little or no thought since it is such a well known word.
But what exactly is faith? Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines faith as having: ‘complete trust, confidence, or reliance.’
Each of us has to have confidence, or faith in ourselves and abilities if we are to achieve any degree of success, but we also need to trust other people, those who can help us to achieve our goals,that group of people who supports and believes in us and the unique abilities we possess and with which we want to serve others.
I am sure we all agree that none of us achieves success alone.

But, for true and lasting success, it is my opinion, that an additional type of faith is needed, and that is a faith and confidence in one whom I call God.
You may use another name, or no name at all, but I sincerely believe that in all things, there is a greater force or power working, and when we have the faith to acknowledge and to tap into that powerful force, we succeed in our undertakings that add value to our lives and to the lives of those around us.

Faith in ourselves, faith in others , and faith in God, allow us to take risks, and risks are essential to growth, to increased faith, and confidence.

As you continue to grow your faith, you will continue to take the daily actions and risks, that allow you to expand and grow yourself.

Where is your faith?

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